TRUE CONFESSIONS

1
Bless me Father for I have sinned, it’s been about 17 years since my last confession and these are my sins.

I’m having unAmerican Thoughts

2
Does that involve leather?
Because, you know, Cowboys use leather?

1
ahhh, no. I’ve tried to get with the program father, but I just can’t.
 

2
I like leather. Hmmmm? What kind of unAmerican thoughts, my son?

1

Well, father, You know, the war, President bush, I have my reservations about him.

2
You think he’s a dumb ass, don't you?

1

Well, yes. kind of. I pictured him as a Dan Quayle without the language skills or the social graces.

2
Hmmmm

1

And I thought that well, seeing as how he stole the election and all, you know how he got his buddies on the supreme court to stop the vote count early while he was still ahead. I was afraid he might be real reckless as president, seeing as how he was never really elected.

2
Reckless, huh, Like an out of control, rip-snorting, Texas coke head, huh?

1
well, yes. And then that thing with the pretzel??? what was that all about? He knocked himself out with a pretzel?

2
I know, I know, well to be honest, you weren't the only one.

1
I mean do you know anyone else who’s got hammered by a pretzel?
 

2

Well, he’s not the only one I know who’s come to with the help of a dog’s tongue. But, after sept 11, he really came into his own. Didn’t he?

1
He did?

2
He did. He came into his own.

1
He came into his own.

2
He did.
1
He did
2
Everyone says so.

1
yeah, I know.
 

2
You see, it’s not the way it seems at all. Dubya’s sly fox, he likes people to misunderestimate him.
 

1
I’ve heard that.

2
And you know what else, he’s a Christian.
And in his ultimate christian wisdom,
he wants us to go to war.
And when we’re  bombing those Iraqi babies or iranian or korean, he’ll be doing it with true Christian compassion. Not because he wants to, but they went and made him lose his patience.
1
yeah, that’s what worries me.
2
He’s a christian and
He's leading a crusade against a terrible man, who runs a terrible regime, and who has terrible fashion sense----.
1
That’s what I keep hearing.
2
Fatigues after five., I mean....
Saddam gassed his own people, for christ’s sake! Of course, we sold him the gas, but he didn’t have to use it against his own people. It was for the Iranians!!
1
Well what about those weapons of mass destruction?
2
Your voice is really wonderful... you sound young...I love young people...Some people say they’re the future, but I think their time is right now.
1
Father,  is that your crucifix?
2
But anyway,  you know everything changed on 9/11

1
well, everything changed on November 7...
2
everyone says so.
1
Everthing
2
Everything.
1
That’s what I was afraid of.
 

break...........
 

2
Were you followed?

1
What do you mean father?

2
When you came here today, were you followed?

1
Why would you aak??

2
Well, we’re not Baptists you know. Ever since congress passed the Jerry Falwell Religious Tolerance Act, we’ve all been a little on edge.

1
What do you mean, father?

2
well, When was the last time, you saw a Jew?

1
What’s a jew??

2
Never mind. Say ten hail marys and leave your number in the poor box.
1
 

1